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Dear Abigail,

I miss you baby, miss saying your name and looking for the best last name ☺.
I miss putting your name on my list.
I miss thinking of you every time I see something that you’d like
I miss imagining you every time I look at another girl’s beautiful eyes.

I imagined you to have a very thick wavy hair, tan, and cheerful. You must be a talkative girl. Just like your cousins and me. Hehehe. It’s so sad that you dont even get to know them. I know that Nada would love you a lot. ☺. You’d have a sweet voice, that we could sing together, and finally have a family band! Hehehe. Or may be you could pick up some instrument course. Piano, violin, guitar, or even drum? It’s up to you my dear.

I thought of us doing sports together. You know, those yoga, Pilates, and gym kind of sports. Let the boys do the sweaty part ya? ☺ or we can dance! Pick a crazy song and just jump and roll, and shake our body everyway we want. That’s fun!

I wished I could dress you up. Buy you nice clothes, shoes, and bags, just like me at your age. It doesn’t matter what your favorite color is. You can choose all you want. And we can decorate your room, with cute stuff, and nice accessories. I like happy house, and if you like it, I’d buy whatever you want! And we can design a cool scrapbook for you! Since you were born up to your wedding day!! Hahaha. That’d be so cool…

And we could hit the mall together. Just the two of us. Once I get my paycheck, I’d treat you in any restaurant that you want! Or maybe buy you a good book to read. If you were spoiled, at least you have to be very smart!

I wished that we could pray together, as a family. And discuss religious issues. Your grandparents will be mad if I don’t do that! You still have Padang blood ok! Huhuhu

And definitely, we could go around the world for holidays. I’d make sure that you see the best of the world honey. Where you could learn other cultures, languages, histories etc.

Abigail, I’m sorry that I could not give you the life that I’ve promised. I’m sorry that I could not see you grow, become a beautiful, smart, lovable and independent girl.

I did promise to give you everything that I have. With tears and blood, I’d do anything for your happiness. I promised that for you, I’d swim the ocean, fly the sky and run anyway. I promised that you’d get whatever you want. I wanted to give you the best in life. But again, honey, I could not, not anymore even if I want.

Honey, even if now you just a vanished dream, a hopeless hope, a rejected wish, an unanswered pray, you still have a special place in my life.  Another girl will replace you someday, should God answer my pray, the one that I’ll do all the above for. But I’ll miss you forever…my precious sweet little angel….

LoVe U Always

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 at 8:11 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.